Joseph Sobran defined Alienism as “a prejudice in favor of the alien, the marginal, the dispossessed, the eccentric, reaching an extreme in the attempt to ‘build a new society’ by destroying the basic institutions of the native. The most terrible fulfillment of this principle is Communism.” In Christianity, our responsibility to others is governed by relationship, such that we have a greater responsibility to our own family, race, town, state, region, and country, than we do to “the other”. Christians should favor the native and the normal over the alien and the novel. Nevertheless, it is undeniable that a great many of my fellow Christians today have given themselves over to strange affections of one variety or another. With that introduction, and with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, I give you: