By Ehud Would

Preamble: And the State spoke all these words, saying, we are the lord thy ZOG who brought thee out of Christendom, out of the house of bondage.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before Ze.

2. Thou shalt make for thyself no politically incorrect image, nor any depiction of anything according to Western beauty standards which might anger minorities. Thou shalt not sell them, nor share them for free; for I, the lord thy ZOG am a jealous ZOG, visiting the iniquity of White Christian fathers upon their children for all generations of them that offend Ze, and shewing mercy unto all People of Color.

3. Thou shalt not take the Latin word for black in vain. For the state will not hold him guiltless who taketh that name in vain.

4. Remember MLK day and keep it holy. Every day shalt thou labor save paid federal holidays; for these are the sabbaths of the lord thy ZOG. In them thou shalt do no work; thou, nor thy barista, nor thy Alexa, nor thy rumba, nor thy wife’s boyfriend, nor the MS13 refugee within thy apartment complex: for in a weekend did Stanley Levison write “I have a Dream” and “A Letter From Birmingham Jail” while MLK labored in drug fueled Sodomite orgies, and rested the third day; therefore ZOG blessed the three day weekend, and hallowed it.

5. Honor thy mothers, and all gender non-conforming persons that thou mayest retain employment.

6. Thou shalt not kill, harm, or in any other respect offend any member of a protected class.

7. Thou shalt not commit Prudery.

8. Thou shalt not resist wealth redistribution.

9. Thou shalt not tell the truth regarding race, gender, or culture.

10. Thou shalt not covet thine own house, thou shalt not covet thine own wife, nor thy children, nor thy car, nor thy career, nor thy country, nor thy self-respect, nor anything that is thine.